The Onion On My Internet Belt

Posts tagged ‘poem’

Poetry, Lows, and the mix for 4-7-17

My suspicion is that if you read this blog you already know its National Poetry Month. Below is a poem that I wrote some time ago (perhaps as long as three years). I’ve shopped it around but it hasn’t found a home so I’m going to share it here because I want to put it out into the world.

Directions to the House

Half the distance already gone
Unnoticed like autumn to the pines

Soften a moment by the plum trees
Our border-guarded neutrality

Turn towards the lake or the stream
So long as a choice is made

If the post box lays barren and forlorn
No blame lies with the postman

No more turning widdershins
The gravel lane runs true

There, half lit, the house open,
Fitful as one who naps too late

Digress into the warm night kitchen
To break our fast of each other.

Embed from Getty Images

In other news, I have had a new pattern show up in my blood sugars that I really don’t like. For the last few days I’ve had a low reading at about 8:30 am. Traditionally this has been the time for a shallow high (not a sharp peak but a slow build and decline). 8:30 am is a terrible time for a low blood sugar because the mind leaves you and starting your work day not being able to concentrate and accurately handle details is a very bad trip. I’ll have to figure out why this is happening and get it fixed.

Next Friday the office is closed for Easter. As such, no podcast.

Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… originally mixed the week of 4.7.17

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
Forgatagban – Fonogeri – Letters From Home.
Right Now – Samantha James – Right Now.
Bodyrock (Rae & Christian Remix) – Moby – Bodyrock single.
Appreciate – Lemaitre – Relativity 1 EP.
Midnight Madness – The Chemical Brothers – Midnight Madness single.
The Road Goes On Forever (One Minute to Midnight Extended Mix) – High Contrast – The Road Goes On Forever single.
Come Into My World (Steve Anderson Studio Version) – Kylie Minogue – Kylie (Live in New York).
Mercury & Solace – BT – Movement in Still Life.
Mama Can You See Me Now (William Orbit Remix) – Sarah McGuinness – From
Silhouette of Baska Voda – Carmen Rizzo – Romancia EP.
Everybody’s Wearing My Head – Deep Dish – George Is On.
Kireii (Darren Tate Remix) – Darren Tate – Horizons, Vol. 02.


Poem: Since I Grew a Forest of Ear Hair

Since I Grew a Forest of Ear Hair

Since I grew a forest of ear hair
I’ve forgiven my eyebrows
For their helter-skelter care
Of hotly disputed borders we
Called a truce and try to play fair.

Since I herniated that disk in my back
The involuntary oof and occasional urgh
Surely add to the sadness of this sack
At least the rattling sabers of my knees
Are kept by the treadmill from attack.

Since I woke up stiff and sore in middle age
Where shoe laces are an indignity away
I’ve sussed which campaigns to wage
And which fools to suffer with grace
To Advil, to Advil! This swelling assuage.

Christmas Alterations (After Wallace Stevens)

Each year I try to write a Christmas letter that contains at least one fact. Beyond that, all bets are off. I’m very much of the opinion that if the limits of a relationship are a single yearly communique then one can expect to learn very little about the other party in a meaningful way. As such, I chose not to chose that. I chose something else*.

There is a popular tradition of poetic recontextualization and alteration in the employ of this yearly communique. I like this tradition and this year my first pass at the annual letter employed this technique. While I found it to be incredibly amusing it was also much too far off in the tall grass for popular consumption. So I decided to share it here. The original has thirteen elements, Christmas has twelve days, and not wanting to cause too much confusion I went with eleven altered stanzas.

If this isn’t too your liking I’ll recommend you check out “This Be The Verse” by Phillip Larkin, which is the favorite Christmas poem of poet Emma Bolden. If you have a Christmas (or one that you associate with this time of year) poem you’d like to recommend, I’m all ears.

Enjoy and happy holidays.

Eleven Way of Looking At Christmas (After Wallace Stevens)

Among twenty snowy mountains,
The only moving thing
Was the Fed Ex Truck.

I was of three minds,
Like a kid
When there are three toy catalogs.

The Mills Fleet Farm Flyer whirled in the winter winds.
It was a small part of the pantomime.

A man and a woman
Are one.
A man and a woman and Santa
Are one.

I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of inflections
Or the beauty of innuendoes,
The Carolers whistling
Or just after.

Icicles filled the long window
With barbaric glass.
The shadow of Krampus
Crossed it, to and fro.
The mood
Traced in the shadow
An indecipherable cause.

O thin men of The Gap ads,
Why do you imagine golden birds?
Do you not see how the spoiled kid
Walks around the feet
Of the women about you?

I know noble accents
And lucid, inescapable rhythms;
But I know, too,
That iTunes is involved
In what I know.

When the credit card bill extended out of sight,
It marked the edge
Of one of many circles.

At the sight of Tickle Me Elmo
Flying in a green light,
Even the bawds of euphony
Would cry out sharply.

He rode over Connecticut
In a glass coach.
Once, a fear pierced him,
In that he mistook
The shadow of his equipage
For a Wal Mart.

*This line is also an altered line of another work. Bonus points to you if you know it.

Dad At Bedtime

While I deliver him into harm
Or near enough to it that a sort
Of seasickness grips me,
His main concern: Will the bubbles
Last long enough to make a beard
Of them? A materialist.
Yes, they will last.

He is an existentialist as I try
To wash the shampoo from his hair.
Towel and rub down, hustle up
Stairs he stops on the fourth
Riser to ask “Dad? Do you hear
All the water underground”?
Yes, I hear the dark currents.

After the stories and another
Drink of water, he becomes
A pacifist. Non-violent protest
Wearing away the injustice of
An early bedtime. Scurrying
From the third warning, Full Dad
Tone with Maximum Implications
To his confused question:
Yes, my love for you will
Always be bigger than any mad.