The Onion On My Internet Belt

Posts tagged ‘bike’

Hiatus, (confused shrug), and the mix for 5-19-17

Well folks, first things first. This is the last regular Friday of work for me until September. There will be a couple random posts over the summer I am sure, but the hiatus starts tomorrow.

Other news: The MS Ride went well. Had perfect weather. Starting temp was 62F with clear skies and no wind to speak of. I rode with my friend Kate. She was better prepared to ride than I was and hauled me along for the 45 mile route (I was really only prepared for 30 miles but with good weather and good company, much is possible). Here we are at about the 36 mile mark. Locals will know exactly where we are.

36 miles MS RIDE

Kate and I at about the 36 mile mark of the 2017 MS Ride.

Love it or hate it: No idea how I got to this mix. I had three playlists that wouldn’t gel and so I mashed them together and started cutting. I think I got hung up on “Good Beat” but I don’t really know. Anyway, it’s 90s dance radio time! Yes, I know, there is no album info. That’s an error on my part but I’m not going back to fix it now.

Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… originally mixed the week of 5.12.17

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
Something About Us – Daft Punk.
All Around The World – Lisa Stansfield.
Slave To The Vibe – Aftershock.
Colour Of Love [Smoove Version] – Snap!
Back To Life – Soul II Soul featuring Caron Wheeler.
Move Your Body – Amber.
Be My Lover – La Bouche.
Say You’ll Be There – Spice Girls.
Good Beat – Deee-Lite.
Dreams (Our Tribe House Mix) – Gabrielle.
The Rhythm Of The Night (R.B.X. Euro Mix) – Corona.
Fascinated – Company B.
Tribal Dance – 2 Unlimited.
Get the Party Started – Pink.


Real Quick, Still Summer, and the mix for 7-27-16

Don’t get up. I’m just passing through. I’ll be quick. You won’t even notice that I was here.

The summer so far: The office is very slow. My Friday’s off have been extremely productive.

Kiddo lost a top front tooth just a couple days ago. I think he might be getting to the ‘awkward age’. We’ll see. He needs more sleep and is growing fast.

Got a new bike to use for towing the tag-a-long bike. This way Mary can have a bike, I can have a bike, and we can all go on a family paced ride together. Had a pretty sweet custom build done on the handlebars/shifter/brake levers.

Thanks Penn Cycle!

The new utility bike with custom bullhorns, brake routing, and shifter.

I’m going to decline to talk about politics because the whole mess exhausts me. All I can say is this: Seriously America, don’t fuck this up.

What am I listening to these days? In a step that is odd even for me, I translated about 20 old video game items into mp3s. Stuff from the Sega and original PlayStation days. I blame the “We Got This” podcast (episode #68) for their trip down memory lane.

Anyway, here is something for you to listen to. I was going to post a very long themed mix but then I didn’t. Because I’m a capricious phantom from the land of spells and lightning!

Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… Originally mixed the week of 7.28.16

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
Into Being – Tone Depth – Perfecto Presents Another World [Disc 1].
Firework – Hollywood Principle – Firework single (Rocket League).
Plasmatic Park – System 7 – Up.
Old School Vibes – Timo Maas – Loud.
The Book (Magik Johnson Tribal NZ) – Salt City Orchestra & Magik Johnson – The Book.
Bass Queen (DJ Hero’s 2012 Remix) – Baby Anne – Bad Baby.
Can’t Kill Us – The Glitch Mob – Love Death Immortality.
Lethal Industry – Tiësto – Magikal Journey.
Get Yourself High (Extended Version) – The Chemical Brothers – Get Yourself High single.
Downpipe (Club Mix) – Mark Knight & D Ramirez vs. Underworld – Downpipe single.

Languages, Saddle Time, and the Mix for 6-12-14

Remember that cryptic first paragraph from the last blog back on 5-28-14? Well the time has come for clarity. I’ve been more obtuse than usual lately because on June 23rd I’ll be starting a new job. I’ll be the admin for the Languages department at the university I currently work at. That process and its attendant stresses are still in the front of my mind. Usually I build and post these blogs at work (that’s one of the reasons they happen at the end of the week). I’ve got no idea how this will play out in the new space.

In other news, my friend Kate and I rode the Munger State Trail this past Sunday. Running from Hinckley to Duluth, MN, it’s a 72 mile (112 km or thereabouts) very pleasant paved trail. The scenery is wooded along the vast bulk of the route. I had wanted to ride this one for a few years and Kate got us on track for that. Mary did the support car driving and since we didn’t need any help on the trail, Mary got to hike a few of the north shore state parks. We spent 5.5 hours in the saddle and I’ll admit the last ten miles were tough. Not only does fatigue set in but the beauty of the scenery on this part of the trail is in inverse proportion to the quality of pavement. We had a notable set of stretches of loose gravel to ride. The weather was perfect (70F, 3 mph breeze, clear skies all day) and we had fun.

My trusty steed over the St Louis River at the south end of the Thomson Reservoir on the boundary of Jay Cooke State Park just outside of Carlton, MN.

My trusty steed over the St Louis River at the south end of the Thomson Reservoir on the boundary of Jay Cooke State Park just outside of Carlton, MN.

This week also contained my birthday. As I’ve gotten older I’ve become more contemplative about the event. As is my wont I took the day off. Here are some of the awesome things the day held: Great works of art, lucky parking, packages in the mail, colored vinyl, new music, woodworking, speakers, books, hanging out with my best friend, meeting two comedy legends (Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy who voiced Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo respectively on Mystery Science Theater 3000), sleeping in, and fantastic weather. I hope your week has been as interesting as mine!

On to the main event! Listen to and/or download this show! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… originally mixed the week of 6.12.14

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” mixes generally post on Fridays. The show archives are generally ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
The End Is Just The Beginning – Electric Skychurch – Sonic Diary.
Dictaphone’s Lament – Tycho – Past Is Prologue.
Faxed Invitation – Underworld – Oblivion With Bells.
On We March – Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross – The Social Network Sampler.
Doing My Job – Two Fingers – Two Fingers.
Rudy’s Got The Number – Horse Noodles – LunaticWorks- Vol 3:
Starting Over (Elite Force Mix) – The Crystal Method – Community Service II.
Change Works – Oxia – Renaissance 3D
Transformation – Transform – Logic Trance 2.
It’s My Mind That Works – The Future Sound Of London – ISDN.
Neal Cassady Starts Here – Fatboy Slim – Everybody Needs A 303 [Single #1].
At The End Of The Day – Amon Tobin – Foley Room.

Thoughts on Watching the Tour

I’m a fan of professional cycling. Every July I join the ranks of Those Obsessed With Sports when I tune in for the Tour de France (TdF from here on in). While I enjoy it, I bring some guilt to the table about that enjoyment.

Let me start by admitting a few things. First, yes, I do watch the live streaming coverage and that coverage is broadcast while I am at work. Back in about 2004 just the audio section of the broadcast was available and it was free. Streaming audio (the equivalent of listening to music, right?) isn’t a big deal. That set up has since ballooned into live video coverage that lasts for about two and a half hours and costs $30 for the month. I’ve got no qualm paying for the service since I’m not able to sit down at home during the prime time hours and absorb the coverage, both because I have a 4 year old son to mind and because the commercials in prime time coverage are lame, repetitious, and copious. I still mainly listen rather than watch the coverage. Like all sports coverage, if the pitch of the announcement changes, you better start paying attention. It’s really just the last 5-10km that require attention. As luck would have it I have the kind of job that allows me to pay attention to TV for thirty minutes of my mornings during July all while not interrupting or interfering with the work that needs doing. This luxury is not lost on me but it does make me feel a little guilty. Yes, my boss knows. Yes, my employees know. No one seems upset but me.

Second, yes, the sport has a really nasty and undeniably tarnished record over the last twenty years. There is no other world class sporting event to have so many winners disqualified for drug use in such a short time and remained viable if there has ever been an event to have so many top honors revoked at all. From 1993 to 2013, half of the winners of TdF have been disqualified for doping (Lance Armstrong lost his 7 wins, Alberto Contador lost his 2010 win, Floyd Landis lost his 2006 win, and Bjarne Riis admitted to doping in his 1996 win). It makes perfect sense that fans would be skeptical (and that is putting it kindly) of any rider winning these days. Is the peloton clean now? I don’t know but I think the emergence of clean teams like Highroad and Slipsteam, as well as the much improved biological passport, are finally making inroads to a cleaner sport. That being said, drugs are part of the TdF legacy. British rider Tom Simpson died on the slopes of Mount Ventoux during 1967s TdF due to drugs. Riders in the 1920’s routinely used a wicked cocktail of then legal drugs (like cocaine) to endure the event. These are not justifications but a matter of putting the culture and how hard it is to change in perspective. It’s hard to enjoy the spectacle when there are such fresh scars and such skeletons in the collective closet.

Third, cycling is the NASCAR of Europe. Those guys are wearing ads all over their clothes and are on millions of TVs for many hours at a stretch. Winning a stage of the ride comes with a hefty purse, about 8,000 euros. Winning a jersey classification (such as best young rider or King of the Mountains) comes with a 25,000 euro prize. The best overall rider, the winner of the General Classification’s (the GC, or yellow jersey wearer) take is 1 million euros. With those numbers on the table it is not so hard to see why riders are willing to dope and why team directors may encourage it.*

How is it then with the three points above so well-known and so undeniable that I can find such joy in the event? Well, sometimes I don’t. The political tumult that goes with any decision from the UCI (the world governing body of cycling) is rough. Sorting out what press coverage is reliable from what isn’t is a chore (the TdF was founded by a newspaper and to this day remains about flashy headlines). And, fundamentally, watching heroes be slain isn’t so great.

But almost all of that fades out to white noise when I think of those guys+ sprinting like rockets for the line or digging into some deep well of calm while suffering up slopes in the Pyrenees because I also like to ride my bike. I’ve never suited up in football pads, dunked a basketball, played anything beyond pond hockey, nothing that registers as a pro activity. But I have ridden my bike a lot. Ridden fast, ridden far, raced against no one but the clock and my own time. Been wrung up on climbs and felt justified in the suffering when I get home. Those are sensations that I intimately understand.

I rode my first metric century (100km/62 miles) in 1988 while in junior high. I rode it on my sister’s red Bridgestone 400. I then got my own Trek 420 (black, white, green and blue), and then in high school a Cannondale R600. Now I ride a Bianchi Via Nirone with more than a couple custom features. I’ve ridden more metric centuries than I can remember and did a standard century (100 miles) this year.

That's right, 103 miles in just under 7 hours.

Photo of the trusty cyclocomputer at the end of the Woebegone Century

One summer I set up my own time trial course of about 16 miles and could clear it in just under 50 minutes. I did that same route just about every day for two months. I’ve barfed in the ditch twice from over exertion. I’ve hit the deck on sketchy corners and by forgetting to clip out of my pedals. I’ve had uncountable chain ring tattoos and currently have the quintessential biker tan. I love the TdF because I love riding my bike and when those guys are out there suffering, I can understand their pain, and when they are full of joy, I can taste that too. I just don’t think there is any other sport that is so accessible and so personal. That keeps me coming back.

*Those prize amount numbers are from the 2012 TdF.
+ I’m a fan of women’s cycling too, as evidenced by my being the team photographer for the last few years for the Collegiate Allstar team at the Nature Valley Grand Prix. Sadly there is no women’s equivalent of the TdF.