The Onion On My Internet Belt

Archive for the ‘Bicycling’ Category

Cat/Candle, Speakerphone, and mix(es) for 4-27-18

Everyone! EVERYONE! SPRING IS HERE! I feel like Navin Johnson when the new phone book arrives!!

This week I learned that I’ve misheard the lyrics to Fleetwood Mac’s “Rhiannon”. The actual lyric is “She is a cat in the dark, and then she is the darkness”. I always thought it was “She is a candle in the dark, and then she is the darkness”. I think what I heard in my head is a better poetic image.

Has anyone else noticed that senior citizens really, really love putting conversations on speakerphone? The building I work in hosts senior education lectures and this week there was a collection of over a dozen seniors standing just outside the vestibule, all of them on speaker phone. It was as confusing and noisy as it sounds. I find it uncomfortable to hold my mobile up to my ear (might have something to do with using a keyboard for a living) so I am sympathetic. But I also have to shake my head at it.

Lat week I mentioned that I’m doing the MS Ride again this year and that is the 10th year I’ve done MS events with my friend Kate. I don’t know the route lengths exactly but we tend to do the 40 mile ride. Turns out I know extremely generous people and have had a very successful fundraising effort so far! That being said, any support you can muster would be gratefully received. Please chip in if you can! Warning Link contains picture of me in spandex.

I’ve been trying to write a poem-a-day this month as I have for the last few years. It’s a fun challenge and keeps my brain engaged. Pleased to say that I’ve been successful in writing something for each day. This year I took the approach that not everything needs to be great or for sharing and that decision has made the effort a lot more fun.

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Timing is everything.

This week’s mix is in two parts. Both of these are just a few songs long. Thing is, they have both been like this for some weeks. Nothing I added to either mix worked and no reordering made them stronger. I like how they roll out and if they have survived this long, they must be complete.

Listen to and/or download this podcast!
Part One The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… Ersatz 1 originally mixed the week of 4.27.18.
Part Two The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… Ersatz 2 originally mixed the week of 4.27.18.

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Ersatz but Complete Part 1
Song – Artist – Album
The Rhythm In Your Mind – Dubtribe Sound System – Baggage.
Life Goes On – Lo;rise – Jimpster Selected Remixes 2004-2008.
Cups (Salt City Orchestra’s Vertical Bacon vocal) – Underworld – Bruce Lee (EP).
Music Sounds Better With You – Stardust – 15 Years [Disc 2]

Ersatz but Complete Part 2
Song – Artist – Album
Human Nature – Michael Jackson – Thriller.
Pavement Cracks – Annie Lennox – Bare.
Slip Away – Lloyd Cole – Antidepressant.

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Ride, Void, and the mix for 4-20-18

This week is the busiest week of the term for me. I had a few things I was going to riff on here but if I want to get this out into the world before my afternoon gets too busy to return to a creative mindset so I’ve got to cut and run.

Short thoughts from the week that you’ll have to flesh out yourself:
-We had a record breaking snow storm here last weekend. I bet it doesn’t get talked about like the ’91 Halloween Blizzard because it was end of the season so the pain fades quickly.
-What are local theater groups going to do with the failing of FreindFace? Almost every small theater I know relies solely on that service to communicate with the world.

I’m doing the MS Ride again this year. It’s 30 days away so I best get to fundraising. This is the 10th year I’ve done MS events with my friend Kate. Please chip in if you can! Warning Link contains picture of me in spandex.

This week’s mix is brought to you by the suggestion of Sarah, my Memoir Mixtapes friend.

Nov 5 2011 Ends now 6355085971_ace570f183_z

An Invitation to A Different Sort of Void

Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents An Invitation To A Different Sort of Void… originally mixed the week of 4.20.18.

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
Pursuit of an Ancient Dream – Apollo 8 and 11 Astronauts – Space Mission.
The Fabric Of Space – Red Red Groovy – 25.
A Ritual In Time And Death – Ulrich Schnauss – A Long Way To Fall.
The Space In Between – How To Destroy Angels – How To Destroy Angels.
Empty Sheet Of Paper – Tweaker – The Attraction To All Things Uncertain.
Nothing – Depeche Mode – Music For The Masses.
Smoke & Mirrors – RJD2 – Deadringer.
My Lover’s Gone – Dido – No Angel.
Missing (Lite Mix) – Everything But The Girl – Missing: The Full Remix [EP].
Consider Me Gone – Sting – The Dream Of The Blue Turtles.
Next To Nothing – Fatboy Slim – Better Living Through Chemistry.
Fear: The Mindkiller (Altered Edit) – Eon – Void Dweller.
Empty – God Lives Underwater – Empty.

Summer Stuff, TdF, and the mix for 7-31-17

Oh! Hello. I didn’t think anybody would be around. Just popping in… can’t stay long (checks watch, looks towards door)…

My world in July is dominated by the Tour de France. I built a mix on the topic and I figured I had better post it in July or else… well, I don’t know. But I’m sure it’s bad, like getting a visit from The Flat Tire Fairy or something equally as miserable.

Other thoughts:
-Summers as an adult are disappointing.
-Having a stereo in a work space (in my case, the garage) is great.
-My ratio of being a groomsman to being a pallbearer is getting uncomfortably close to 1:1. I prefer the former to the later but will gladly serve in any way I can if asked. That is what friendship and family are about.
-Does anyone else not see someone post on Social Media for a couple weeks and start to get worried that something bad has happened? I mean, how would you know, right?
-It is more fun to take pictures than to do the work to create a working archive of those pictures.
-For my money, the picture below (taken at the 2017 Back to the Fifties at the MN State Fairgrounds) is the absolute peak of things I want in terms of automobile wishes.

1959 Cadillac in Seafoam

1959 Cadillac in sea foam green (swoon)

Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… originally mixed the week of 7.31.17

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
Theme for Velodrome – The Chemical Brothers – Theme for Velodrome single.
III/4 – Phantom Heart Brother – Pete Namlook & Klaus Schulze featuring Bill Laswell – The Evolution of the Dark Side of the Moog.
Bad Radio (ft Tunde Adebimpe) – Leftfield – Alternative Light Source.
Mind Of A Beast – The Glitch Mob – Love Death Immortality.
Ren 2 – Photek – Animatrix: The Album.
Accelerate (Rat Race Mix) – Skin Up – Big Hard Disk Vol 1.
Full Throttle – The Prodigy – A Life Less Ordinary.
Red Zone – Robert Miles – Dreamland.
Hypnomania (Head Trip Mix) – LaTour – Hypnomania 12” single.
On The Road (Vocal Mix) – Alex Armes, Sam Stizer & Thomas Penton – Mixtape: Future Funk.
This Race (Moscow 061027) – Underworld – Collected Live & B-Sides.
Tour de France – Kraftwerk – Tour de France.

Hiatus, (confused shrug), and the mix for 5-19-17

Well folks, first things first. This is the last regular Friday of work for me until September. There will be a couple random posts over the summer I am sure, but the hiatus starts tomorrow.

Other news: The MS Ride went well. Had perfect weather. Starting temp was 62F with clear skies and no wind to speak of. I rode with my friend Kate. She was better prepared to ride than I was and hauled me along for the 45 mile route (I was really only prepared for 30 miles but with good weather and good company, much is possible). Here we are at about the 36 mile mark. Locals will know exactly where we are.

36 miles MS RIDE

Kate and I at about the 36 mile mark of the 2017 MS Ride.

Love it or hate it: No idea how I got to this mix. I had three playlists that wouldn’t gel and so I mashed them together and started cutting. I think I got hung up on “Good Beat” but I don’t really know. Anyway, it’s 90s dance radio time! Yes, I know, there is no album info. That’s an error on my part but I’m not going back to fix it now.

Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… originally mixed the week of 5.12.17

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
Something About Us – Daft Punk.
All Around The World – Lisa Stansfield.
Slave To The Vibe – Aftershock.
Colour Of Love [Smoove Version] – Snap!
Back To Life – Soul II Soul featuring Caron Wheeler.
Move Your Body – Amber.
Be My Lover – La Bouche.
Say You’ll Be There – Spice Girls.
Good Beat – Deee-Lite.
Dreams (Our Tribe House Mix) – Gabrielle.
The Rhythm Of The Night (R.B.X. Euro Mix) – Corona.
Fascinated – Company B.
Tribal Dance – 2 Unlimited.
Get the Party Started – Pink.

Rant, directions, and the mix for 5-5-17

I’m going to start with a rant so skip to the next paragraph if that isn’t your style. First off I’m in a foul mood because of the vote yesterday in Congress to move ahead with 45s disastrous “health care” bill. You see those pictures from after the vote? All old white people celebrating. The greed, hatefulness, and vast hypocrisy of it is staggering. I would shout more about it but I have a strong suspicion that if you are reading this you are in the choir already. Second, there is a process my place of work does once every few months and yet my coworkers can’t figure the fucking thing out. They literally have a 9” x 13” piece of paper covered in wonderfully precise instructions and act surprised EVERY TIME when I point out they are doing it wrong. Plus side: This is the very last time this process happens on paper. Next time there will be a whole new set of questions but at least 1500 less papers to shuffle.

I like media studies so here is a thing that occurred to me just a few days ago. The marketing juggernaut that is Disney/Star Wars has new fodder these days. As such there are a lot more images and merch from the franchise around. One interesting side effect of merchandising the Star Wars movies is that on balance there are more images of evil than of good. My guess is that since the bad guys all wear masks, it is easier to license a mask than someone’s actual image (you know, a real human being’s face). I find it at least a little dark amusement that the push to make the most cash by a giant company normalizes images of evil as commonplace. Thought experiment: How much more often do you see Darth Vader or a storm trooper instead of Luke, Leia, Finn, Poe, Han, or Rey?

In a scant eight days I am taking part in the MS Ride again. If you enjoy the weekly mixes a good way to show it is to donate to my fundraising efforts. Some of you loyal readers/listeners have already and I do vastly appreciate it! My fund raising page is here. I am very pleased to say I have raised $878 so far.

Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… originally mixed the week of 5.5.17

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
Mrs. Cold – Kings of Convenience – Declaration of Dependence.
Mrs. Jack’s Last Stand – Adrian Legg – Guitar For Mortals.
Miss Gradenko – The Police – Synchronicity.
Look At The Lady – Trip Shakespeare – Are You Shakespearienced?
Mr. Soul – Buffalo Springfield – Retrospective: The Best of Buffalo Springfield.
Mr. Bellows – John Mellencamp – Mr. Happy Go Lucky.
Mr. Nichols – Coldcut with Saul Williams – Sound Mirrors.
Mr. Jones – Elvin Jones – Poly-Currents.
The Gentleman Is a Dope – Count Basie & Sarah Vaughan – Count Basie/Sarah Vaughan.
Sophisticated Lady – Billie Holliday – Compact Jazz Billy Holiday.
Oh Lady Be Good – Benny Goodman – Rare Recordings: 1935-1936 [Live].
Tally-Ho, Mr. Basie! – Count Basie & The Kansas City 7 – Count Basie & The Kansas City 7.
Lady Day And John Coltrane – Gil Scott-Heron – The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.
Little Miss Lover – The Jimi Hendrix Experience – Axis: Bold As Love.
Lady Cab Driver – Prince – 1999.
Blood, Milk And Sky (Miss September Mix) – White Zombie – Supersexy Swingin’ Sounds.