The Onion On My Internet Belt

Archive for the ‘Being A Dad’ Category

Vol 3, Dadding, and the mix for 2-9-18

The last couple weeks have been busy at work and busy at home. I’m busy right now wrapping up my ersatz work day to head off to a set of routine doctor appointments. Under this pressure I can think of two things to share*.

First, for your edification. I will have an essay published in Mixtape Memoirs Vol 3 which will come out on Valentines Days (Wednesday, Feb 14th if you are bad at calendars like I am). And yes, it’s about love. I’m very happy about this essay and its being published.

Second, for your amusement. Parenting is a strange gig. Last Wednesday night, I had just got in the shower and was in there long enough to be covered in water, like a literal ten seconds, when kiddo runs into the bathroom and vomits in the sink. He did an admirable job getting as far as he could and (mostly) hitting the sink. Anyway, I turned off the water, hopped out of the shower as quick as possible and attended to kiddo. Then I had to decide: Use the towel to clean him up or dry myself off. So I spent the next half hour cold, wet, naked, and cleaning up vomit. Turns out nakedness is not in anyway a deterrent for me to getting a job done. As my Dad said, the highs are very high, the lows are very low.

*I assume people read this space for updates about my life. I have no idea if that is true, but it seems like a reasonable assumption.

Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… originally mixed the week of 2.9.18

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
Dr. Feelgood (Love Is a Serious Business) – Aretha Franklin – 30 Greatest Hits.
Give It Up Or Turnit Loose – James Brown – 20 All Time Greatest Hits!
Superman Lover – Johnny “Guitar” Watson – The Funk Anthology.
Slim Jenkins’ Joint – Booker T. & The M.G.’s – Hip Hug-Her.
You Got the Love – Rufus – Rags to Rufus.
Superstitious – Stevie Wonder – Talking Book.
Nothing Ever Hurt Like You – James Morrison – Songs for You, Truths For Me.
Nowhere to Run – Martha Reeves & The Vandellas – Dancing in the Streets.
More Bounce to the Ounce – Zapp & Roger – All The Greatest Hits.
Far Cry – Marvin Gaye – In Our Lifetime.
Going to a Go-Go – Smokey Robinson & The Miracles – Going to a Go-Go.
Bambi – Prince – Prince.
West Coast Poplock – Ronnie Hudson – GTA:SA.
Last Night a D.J. Saved My Life – Indeep –Last Night single.
In the Midnight Hour – Wilson Pickett – In the Midnight Hour.
Can’t You Hear Me Knocking – The Rolling Stones – Sticky Fingers.

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This, That, and the mix for 3-10-17

This, by necessity, has to be short. Kiddo is sick and I’ve got to wrap up my work day to tend to his vomiting. Just got the call from my wife who is picking him up at school as I type this. The complexities of taking care of a sick child on a workday are oddly complex.

The things I planned to mention are this: Been streaming Paris-Nice via the NBC Gold app and it’s great (both the app and the race). Has helped motivate me to get back on the bike to train for the MS Ride in May. Second, I like this mix but I don’t know what the kernel germinated this. It came from a big pile of songs and took some time to come together.

Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… originally mixed the week of 3.10.17

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
What Can You Do For Me? – Utah Saints – Utah Saints.
Am I Wrong – Etienne De Crécy – Essentials (Best Of).
Free – M.A.D. (Micro & Debo) – Digital Empire, Vol. 2: The Aftermath [Disc 2].
Embryo (Push Mix) – Lifecell – Embryo single.
Count To Zero – Psykosonik – Welcome To My Mind [Single].
Renegade Soundwave (Leftfield Mix) – Renegade Soundwave – In To The Mix [Disc 1].
RIP (Grave Diggers Have More Fun) – DJ Arne L II – RIP EP.
The Opaque (Pitch Black Remix) – Tom Cosm – Remixes & Rarities.
The Heavens (Monolith Mix) – Juno Reactor – High Energy Protons (EP).

Contexts, Floyd, and the mix for 1-27-17

Strap in and hang on. I have little time to write this and I’m coming in hot from an aggressive day. There will be random switchbacks and high-speed non-sequiturs.

This week? Serious this week. Stop it. On so many fronts.

Recontextualization is my favorite artistic tool. Has been since I first learned the name of what I had already been doing for fun (that was a 1 credit studio art discussion class in 1994 btw). Thanks to the New York Public Library and my mounting sense of displeasure with politics in my nation, I bring you this!

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Keep this close at hand for all of your Twitter and Facebook needs.

On Monday a coworker started a conversation with me about Pink Floyd. They seemed genuinely both shocked and intrigued at how many opinions I had on the topic. Today, all I have listened to has been Pink Floyd. I’m growing in the opinion that “Obscured by Clouds” is one of their best works and that “Dark Side of the Moon” is overrated.

Kiddo came down with both pink eye and strep throat this week. My back freaked out last Saturday and is still giving me trouble. I’m including this section because I am honor bound as a Minnesotan to at least mention the current maladies. I’ll save you the mention of climatic conditions and their impact on people you have never and will never meet.

Did you know the “E” in Chuck E. Cheese stands for “Entertainment”? Now you do.

Next week there will be a first for this space: A guest post!  Talking about old records and music from our youth, Kara Bachman (@80sMomKara).

Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… originally mixed the week of 1.27.17

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
You’re Not From Brighton – Fatboy Slim – You’ve Come A Long Way Baby.
Da Bump (Ame Vox Remix) – Mr. V featuring Miss Patty – Da Bump Remix EP.
Humbug (Ft Sakhile Moleshe) – Goldfish – Get Busy Living.
The Longest Road – Morgan Page – Nettwerk 25 Years.
The Shore – Morgan Geist – Double Night Time.
Lights (Bassnectar Remix) – Ellie Goulding – Lights Remix EP.
That’s When I Reach for My Revolver (Moby’s Mix 1 Edit) – Moby – TWIRFMR single.
Syncope (Edit) – Tom Porcell – 50 Trance Tunes.
Waves of Change (Kaskade Dub) – Samantha James – Waves of Change single.
Alone Tonight (Ronski Speed Remix) – Above & Beyond – Alone Tonight single.
A Little Rush (Original Mix) – Christopher Lawrence – A Little Rush single.

The Long Game (1 and 2) and the mix for 5-20-16

Yesterday I was home with kiddo. He had a good old case of the mystery vomits. There was a lot of laundry and a lot of hand washing. Anybody who presents parenting as mainly sunshine, daisies, and butter mellow is full of crap. No, it isn’t all horror either. Like all things worth doing it is a long game full of nuance and steady effort. Yesterday just took more effort.

Because of kiddo being sick I had to surrender tickets to the Comedy Bang Bang show at the Pantages Theater and the accompanying date night those tickets were the center piece of. That was the hard part of the day, really. Going out events are rare so one getting cancelled has more impact. There is nothing to do about it but it was a bummer.

Summer has returned in two ways. First, today was the final day of Final Exams here on campus. It’s all over but the shouting. Second, lawn mowing season is back. I’ve been mowing lawns since I was about nine years old. I am looking forward passing that proud tradition down to my son as it was passed to me from my father, unceremoniously and with a certain glee at “no backsies” being called. Trouble is, I grew up with a pool table flat yard. The current yard has a wicked short run hill on the east side of the house. It’s the kind of slope that can flip a mower if done wrong. I have to ask myself how badly I don’t want to mow the lawn and if my desire to be free of this, my least favorite outdoor activity, means I am willing to risk the safety of others. It’s a tough call and the jury is still out.

In college I once did a radio show in which I played the longest songs I could get away with. I had a test the next day and I needed all the time I could get to study. It sort of worked. This mix, while not prompted by the pressing nature of other obligations necessarily, follows that mold. The shortest cut is ten and a half minutes. The longest cut is just under twenty minutes. So, sit back, strap in, and fuzz out.

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Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… Originally mixed the week of 5.20.16

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Album
Supernova At The End Of The Universe – The Orb – The Orb’s Adventures Beyond The Ultraworld [Disc 1].
Perimitive (Parts 1 & 2) – Van Basten – Atomic Audio.
Pressure – Spacetime Continuum – Sea Biscuit.
Why Why Why – Underworld – Dubnobasswithmyheadman [Bonus CD].
…And The Day Turned To Night – Shpongle – Are You Shpongled?

2600,Gamer Dad, and the mix for 2-19-16

In the movie Tron, from 1982, the main characters are all in an arcade at one point. Seen in the crowd are folks in suits and dress clothes. The first video game system I had growing up was called “Telstar” which featured several version of “pong” disguised as hockey, tennis, and a solo mode. My Dad was giddy when he brought it home. Dad also liked the Atari 2600… and the Sega Master System… I think you get the point. Somewhere in my formative years I came to the idea that video games were for kids. Looking back there seems to be evidence to disprove this notion. My generation grew up with video games and as we age we are still in the mix. There are definite moments in gaming these days where I can tell that I am playing with folks younger than me or folks my age.

I’ve got a whole raft of stories about how video games have played a part in my life but I’ve run out of time today to tell all those stories if I plan to get this posted today. I’ll sum up some of the highlights as a compromise:
– My sister and I used to laugh ourselves out of breath playing “Combat” tanks for Atari 2600.
– My long love of RPGs comes from literally staying up all night to play “Phantasy Star” on the Sega Master System.
– The last patrol I was in for Boy Scouts was named for Sonic the Hedgehog. It was the best patrol ever.
– The first time I played a Playstation probably kept me from having a nervous breakdown in New Mexico.
– One of the best retail “war stories” I have is just not giving a hoot and bringing in the PS2 to play “Tekken” at work.
And the list would continue if there was time. This long history of electronic participation made this week’s mix a joy to build.

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Ready Player One

This week’s mix is the second installment of the Audience Participation Series. The theme proposed, and mixed below, is “Video Game Music”.

Listen to and/or download this podcast! The Funkomaticjamatron Presents… Video Game Music. Originally mixed the week of 2.19.16

NOTE: New “The Funkomaticjamatron Presents…” podcasts are generally posted on Fridays. The show archives are around ten shows deep. Beyond that, if the link isn’t active, the mix has been deleted to make way for new material.

Song – Artist – Game the Song is From
From Past to Present – Jeremy Soule – Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
The Courier – Amon Tobin – infamous.
El Cargo – Amon Tobin – Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory.
The Chaos Complex – Sascha Dikiciyan – Tron: Evolution.
Firework – Hollywood Principle – Rocket League.
Onyx – Cold Storage – WipeOut Pure.
Track 18 – Unknown – Destruction Derby.
Buggie Running Beeps 01 (Area01) – Keiichi Sugiyama! – Rez: Gamer’s Guide to…
Energy Flow – Vitae – Extreme G 3.
We Have Explosive – The Future Sound Of London – Wipeout 2097.
Techno Syndrome – The Immortals – Mortal Kombat.
Saints Row the Third – Malcolm Kirby Jr – Saints Row the Third.
V Six – Fluke – Wipeout 2097.
Never Could Have Your Heart – Misstress Barbara – Midnight Club.
I Am The One (High Fantasy Version) – Inon Zur – Dragon Age: Origins.